Bengaluru Man Documents Six Years Of Relationships In Detailed Excel Sheet – Woman’s era Magazine
A Bengaluru man has sparked intense debate online after sharing a detailed Excel-style system he developed to track friendships and relationships using data collected over six years. His unusual approach to quantifying emotional connections, measuring the time invested in people, and calculating a form of “return on investment” has divided social media users between curiosity, admiration, and criticism.
The man, identified as Pankaj, revealed that he built a personal system called “Ziya,” which he described as a kind of personal CRM designed to track context, conversations, emotional outcomes, and patterns in his relationships. According to him, the idea emerged from the belief that time is a limited resource and that people often underestimate the effort required to build meaningful bonds.
Through his posts, Pankaj explained that he has been logging details such as how he met someone, the number of hours spent interacting with them, the stage of the relationship, and how emotionally rewarding or draining the connection felt over time. He claimed that by analysing this data, he realised that emotional capacity is finite and that not every relationship can or should be maintained indefinitely.
— Pankaj (@the2ndfloorguy) February 16, 2026
His calculations attempt to break down how long it takes to develop different levels of closeness. According to the figures he shared, establishing basic rapport often requires several hours of initial interaction, while building deeper trust can demand dozens of hours over months. Reaching genuine emotional vulnerability may take more than a year of consistent communication. He described this process as the “boot-up cost” of relationships, highlighting the effort required before connections reach meaningful depth.
Over the six-year period, Pankaj analysed his own social habits and discovered that only a handful of people qualified as close friends. He concluded that individuals typically have the capacity to maintain a limited number of deep relationships at any given time. He wrote that constantly reassessing connections and occasionally stepping away from certain relationships is necessary not because of conflict but because emotional bandwidth is limited.
The concept of measuring relationships through metrics and calculations quickly went viral, attracting a wide range of reactions. Some social media users criticised the approach as overly transactional, arguing that friendships should not be reduced to data points or efficiency calculations. Others found the analysis intriguing, saying it offered a structured perspective on how emotional energy and time are spent.
Supporters noted that modern life often demands intentional prioritisation, especially as people balance careers, personal growth, and social commitments. Critics, however, argued that quantifying human interactions risks stripping away spontaneity and emotional authenticity.
Pankaj responded to the criticism by stating that he was not attempting to convince others to adopt his system but was simply sharing insights drawn from his own experience. He maintained that recognising limits on time and emotional capacity helps him invest more deeply in existing relationships rather than spreading attention too thinly across many connections.
